My gods are tired of your name .

How do you sleep at night?

My gods are tired of hearing your name.

Do you pray for me?

Do you plead for my inner peace?

I asked the moon if she could get me in your room one more time

One more night and I would tell you how I’ve always wondered what it feels like waking up next to you.

One more time and you would finally get to know the things that I’ve done,

That I’ve never mouthed

The dirt that makes me and not the Autumn leaves that I grow.

One more full moon and I would let you see the insides of the soul that still longs for the first night you looked at it

A full moon and I would let you wander through my garden full of thorny white roses but I’d still make you return home.

Do you ever re-feel?

Do flashbacks make your heart sink back in joy?

A gentleman kissed my hands the other day and I felt your long fingers caressing my arm.

Do you ever miss or ask the stars what could have been?

I closed my eyes once and said your name instead of his.

He thinks I only like the idea of you.

Just like how you felt before your last goodbye…

 

These men,they see my tan,they think my beauty will feed them,that my heart will grow fonder

They make me call my ancestors but it never gets to the gods

Their voices…they sound like Kings’ but give me a crown that will never fit..

Their eyes can’t meet mine when they claim they want me, claim they love me.

Their smiles are shy,their trusts shattered like the hearts their women broke..and

Your eyes…all I saw was a deep ocean. Flowers growing high enough for me to reach for your trust …

 

I don’t sleep at night anymore,

I carry the immense weight of my heart at night when I put my hands together

preparing for that un-arriving miracle that the 8th star from the left promised me on the 45th romantic day we had when Valentines day was around the corner.

 

Do you pray for me too? I really wish , well … all i can do is hope , wish is too much a luxurious word i can’t permit my self to spell with a heart full of doubts in this way , that mine is wired.

 

Do you re-think of the day we met that turnt into moments we meant?

 

Do you re-listen to our music and feel the rush to pose before it gets to that line we related to so much ?

 

For us , I only wanted flowers to spill when i yawned or sneezed , i wanted my patience to be so well exercised that the ground would shake when i woke up to be your power,

 

This time , these emotions have defeated me,

Am a fool for all you do and yourself,

I meant to ask, do you at least sleep at night ?

 

#Ceèl & Bel_Inès

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